It’s so surreal every time I sit down to reflect on all God has done in my life. My Redemption Birthday holds such a level of awe for me. Not just as a day when I shout to the world about how free I am. But for my heart to roar with praise over everything God has transformed in my life.
I DO NOT deserve everything the Lord has done for me. Not at all. Which makes the miracles all the more amazing!
I often ask myself, “Why me?!”
In the grand scheme of things, I’m not anyone special. I don’t have a large following. I’m not a mega influencer who can change the world.
Yet God’s love doesn’t label a person valuable by what they can do or gain for Him. God’s love reaches down into the very depths of darkness and despair simply because He loves.
Side note: for those unfamiliar with my testimony, you can check out these posts where I gush over the Lord’s goodness in giving me a spiritual heart transplant! Miracles do happen!!
Many scriptures have marked my heart and spirit over the years, but one specific location always moves me regarding the depth of how loved I am thanks to my redemption.
Ezekiel 16:1-14 illustrates God’s love for Israel. Although, in sitting with the Father one day, He sent me to these scriptures so He could reveal His love for me.
“As for your nativity, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed in water to cleanse you; you were not rubbed with salt nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were thrown out into the open field, when you yourself were loathed on the day you were born. And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’”
Ezekiel 16:4-6 (NKJV)
Y’all, these scriptures cracked something open in me as I sat wrapped in the Father’s love.
Part of my redemption journey has also been one of deep healing.
My childhood story isn’t unlike many others. Broken, dysfunctional, dark. And for many years I bore the weight of rejection. I walked under the label unloved always striving to prove my value so people would keep me in their lives.
Very much like an orphan, I longed for family. I longed for a home. I genuinely hungered for someone to treasure me, love me, keep me.
Nothing in this world filled that need or hole in my life. Anything I tried only deepened the emotional rot already present.
I needed a Savior. I needed someone to rescue me–especially from myself!
On this day in 2018, that miraculous, divine appointment happened. I hadn’t been seeking Jesus, but He had been chasing after me!
Since that glorious moment, the Father has been rebuilding me. Section by section. Frame by frame.
To say it’s been long and hard is an understatement.
But it has been purposeful.
Five years is a long time to be “under construction”–in a spiritual sense. And while the Father has confirmed there’s more He is doing within me, I am celebrating every opportunity I can to move and flow as He has created me to.
I am thriving under the hand of my Father.
He chose me. He loved me. And I will never be the same!!
““When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” says the Lord God.”
Ezekiel 16:8 (NKJV)
Words cannot express the level of awe and the magnitude of love I feel for my Heavenly Father.
“…you are Mine,” echos through my being more times than I’ll ever be able to count. And each time is as fresh as the day the Father first spoke them over me.
Y’all, I have a reality of God. He isn’t some interesting being I look to. He isn’t some culturally accepted solution for religion.
I have met with Him. He is my God and King.
I have been marked by my Creator. I AM REDEEMED!
And today, on my 5th Redemption Birthday, I bask in the wonder of His glory. I have a unique opportunity to live as a memorial of His healing power and His great mercy.
So, my dear friend, as you read this please know miracles still happen. Deep, life-transforming healings are taking place. I am but one example of what the Father can do in a person’s life.
In a world riddled with mental health struggles, this fact alone is massive. When things literally erupt all around me (sometimes daily!), I am not shaken by circumstances.
Only the Father can establish such a foundation. I did nothing but continue to say “yes” every time He wanted to take another journey with me.
I am no longer a people-pleaser who will transform to match what I think people expect for them to value and love me. I know who I am and who’s I am. 😉
How do I know I’m solid in this area? In ministry, I have spiritually wrestled intensely with individuals who’ve verbally wailed into me as a result of their own broken state.
And guess what? None of their attacks shook my resolve or identity, and instead, I fully focused on them and their needs and helped them reach their healing. Only God!! 🙌🏻
Admittedly this one took time to achieve. The Father went reeeeeally deep to heal and free me in this area. But He never gave up on me. #gratefultears
Being a woman in ministry isn’t easy. Especially being called into higher areas as the Father has placed specific mantles upon my shoulders. I am rejected on a regular base. Either because I’m a woman or because people wrestle with the words I share to bring life to their circumstances.
But none of the rejections change the fact I’ve been called and redeemed. My life is a memorial of God’s goodness. I am called to share His heart with the world. I can do nothing less than surrender all I am to my God and King.
Full disclosure, this was a recent healing. Even after 5 years redeemed, the Father is still diving into my heart to heal and free me in ways that defy logic.
This healing was a gift as it connected to my most intimate relationships–those who are woven to walk life with me.
I’d already committed my life to Jesus and was fine being loved by only Him. However, I needed to believe in my heart that others–those chosen to walk with me–loved me too. That I wasn’t insignificant or unseen. That I was cherished by others and not just by God.
Because the insecurities were causing me to keep others at a distance where God wanted deeper levels of unity with certain ones. Not everyone is meant to walk in deep unity with us–we do need to have boundaries against ones who would harm us.
And the Lord is the One who knows the difference.
I could be here for days telling of all the Lord has done. I cannot express how deeply moved I am to sit and reflect on His goodness.
And if this blog post has done anything, I pray it has inspired you to know that nothing is impossible with God.
If you’ve read all this and would like to chat more, feel welcome to drop me a comment or send me an email.
Take care, friends!
And may the warmth of the Father’s love wrap you up in a hug today!
March 3, 2023